Find the support you need

On actively seeking and receiving help with an open heart
April 17, 2021

Dear Child,

You were never meant to live life alone. Yes, you alone are responsible for meeting your own needs and overcoming the challenges that life throws at you, but you cannot do it all by yourself. (Read more on “Conscious Responsibility”) . One of the best skills you can learn to live a fulfilled life is to receive help with an open heart and seek it actively. 

Most of us grew up in a culture where asking for help was not the norm. We were raised to become independent and not be a burden for others. I am still overcoming the thought of “Am I asking too much?”. The word meiwaku, which translates to “bother” from Japanese, rings in my ears when I think of receiving help or support. Why do we associate receiving with an act of weakness or bother? I understood that “shame” is responsible for such thoughts and behaviors most of the time. We feel ashamed and fear that others may see through our weaknesses and/or inabilities.  

Thankfully, life has taught me better. I am reframing this unhelpful belief into

 “Seeking and receiving help is an act of bravery and intelligence.”

Success is not the state of not-needing-anyone-and-doing-it-alone. Living a fulfilled life will largely depend on your resourcefulness.

Cultivate an open heart to receive help. We all need support and hand-holding along with our life. This journey can feel daunting if you go on it alone. Once you find your circle of support– be it a community of like-minded people, friends, or family members who can wholeheartedly encourage and motivate you to become who you want to be; you have a winning game.

I believe receiving help connects you with people at a deeper level. Reaching out for help can feel scary, but when you do so and receive it with an open heart–you feel seen, heard, and valued. Know that most people will want to help you more deliberately than you imagined. Think about it. Paradoxically, we are always there for others, standing at the front line to help someone, ANYONE! Yet, we are so reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. Turns out, giving is so much easier than receiving. 

So, how do you find help? Support can be found in many ways. My go-to is often books written by experts in the specific area I need support with. Still, most of the time, I found more vital support in physically having someone who could guide me through individually. A coach, a therapist, a mentor, a spouse, or a friend-anyone could be that person to hold your hand when needed. 

I would like to share some personal experiences with gratitude to the beautiful people in my life, just to mention several of them. I reached my ideal weight and found back a healthy lifestyle thanks to my friend and health coach Menya; I leaped into leaving a 9-5 job and move countries to start living with my husband thanks to the nudge from my friends Lydia and Ruud; I overcame the feeling of self-doubt and inadequacy thanks to my friend and Consciousness Expansion Officer(CEO), Samantha; I reconnected with the joy of writing with the support of fierce women that I met during a self-development program I signed up for; and last but not least, I relaunched this space, my passion project lifewlana.com, thanks to my friend and aspired coach Mafalda who helped me with accountability. Each of these steps was supported by the love of my husband and my family. I could never have done it alone. 

The bottom line is: you have to be resourceful. Nothing to worry about. It is almost funny how easily support can be found once you actively begin seeking it.

“What you seek is seeking you.”

rumi

When you actively channel your energy into seeking what you need, you will meet new people who will become your friends for life. You will bump into old friends or reconnect with past relationships at the right time and place, who will magically offer you precisely what you needed. Such are the moments of synchronicity in life.

I hope you won’t neglect the power of seeking and receiving help and use your resourcefulness to meet your deepest desires and achieve your wildest dreams.

wholeheartedly,

lana

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